Major victory for Intelligent Design

jackalope-statue.jpgA statue in Wyoming constructed back when jackalopes were revered as majestic but mythical animals.

Shocking photos of an unusual hybrid-type animal confounded biologists today. Images of what zoo-goers agree look an awful lot like a baby jackalope were posted on the internet today, making evidence against the canonical view of evolution by common descent—which thoroughly rejects the existence of jackalopes, which would require the mating of two phylogenetically divergent and anatomically dissimilar organisms—available worldwide. Jackalopes, also known as “antelabbits” or “stagbunnies” according to Wikipedia, had long been rejected as imaginary joke animals that people from the southwest described to gullible roommates when they went away to college in the east. But the late-breaking images challenge all that. Intelligent design advocates are claiming victory, explaining that the existence of the baby jackalope violates all known biological laws and that the empire of scientific theory has been toppled. Admittedly, a graduate student in biology shown these pictures was befuddled.

jackalope-montage.jpgImages of the baby jackalope with its mother, taken at the Southwick’s Zoo in Massachusetts. Female jackalopes don’t have antlers.

id-venn-smaller.jpgIn the mad scramble to challenge this new challenge to evolution and possibly rewrite the laws of nature, an interesting ancillary fact has emerged. Apparently most evolution deniers and supporters of Intelligent Design also believe in the jackalope. “Of course I’ve always believed in jackalopes,” said one 17-year-old girl who rejects evolution as a materialistic conspiracy perpetrated by godless academics. “We know antelabbits are real, because full-size antelopes could never forage in narrow crevices or really dense underbrush and the circle of life depends on balance in nature. It’s simple logic,” explained her father, misconstruing the ecological niche concept. It’s unclear how the scientific establishment will weather this assault. In the past, major revisions to scientific theory have led to an ultimately more robust understanding of the natural world, like when Einstein dropped the cosmological constant from his field equations for general relativity after facing undeniable evidence that the universe is indeed expanding. But these findings may destroy science altogether, and lead to a total deterioration of knowledge and pursuit of rational thought.

4 Responses to “Major victory for Intelligent Design”

  1. Andrew Says:

    Ain’t nothin’ tastier than StagBunny Stew. I can’t wait till that thing grows up!

  2. Mary Says:

    And there’s two of them babies! Hope they’re both females, I hear antler removal is a real task!

  3. » Blog Archive » Graduate student is an idiot, but science still stands strong Says:

    […] images described earlier as depicting a baby jackalope and signifying the demise of modern scientific thought are actually […]

  4. NBP Says:

    Well, I have a postcard from Arizona that PROVES that jackalopes are real!

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